IN SEARCH OF TABLES
I spent my drive to work with the radio off, not on purpose, rather by default. My thoughts were wrapped up on a photo taken August of 1997. Ben was 5 years old, wearing a light sweater, new clothes, and hanging down held by his hand on his right side a pencil box (which contained crayons and not one pencil). In his left hand he held tightly a lunch box he "had to have" which was a giant green and blue fish with red lips. (No Ben, I won't post the actual photo) The picture I have tattooed on my brain of that day he is leaned back against a curio cabinet and his eyes sparkle with a smile of enthusiasm, eagerness, joy and wonder....this was his first day of school!
I realized 20 minutes into the ride that I was meditating on this image and how quickly time goes by, how many moments we take for granted with our children; not on purpose, but because of our busy lives and what we chose to do with our time. And now, today after work, I was going to take Eli to the Elementary School to sign up. Today, I can see back on what God has blessed me with and the amazing experience of Ben's school years as he prepares to graduate soon. AND, today is the first memory of a long journey for Eli that will end all too quickly. Standing here, at the start AND finish line, it's almost euphoric. Conflicting emotions; happy, sad, excited, proud, numb. As I tried to remember Ben's first day other than that picture, mere glimpses were available....and I wondered...will I remember Eli's first day any better?
When I came home, Eli was sitting on the sofa with his shoes in hand and ready to go. Acting as if he was going to school for class, I let him know, "this is just to sign up for now Bud". He confirmed he knew that and we talked a bit about how parents don't stay in school with their kids. He seemed confident, and rather glad he'd be on his own. As we hugged Daddy goodbye Eli said to him, "You can't come with me to school, it's just for kids...but you can come pick me up after school." Rick smiled and told him he'd be there every day to pick him up and with that we were gone.
The entire drive to school, which only consisted of 2 minutes, Eli talked and talked. But as soon as we got to the office he was as quiet as a church mouse...but eyes glowing with excitement. I asked if I could walk him through the halls since the students were dismissed already and they gave us a pass and introduced us to a kindergarten teacher who offered to show us her classroom. As she walked ahead I asked Eli, "what are you most excited about?" His response was simple....and curious. In a voice that sounded as if he could barely contain himself he said, "I can't wait to see the tables and chairs!" And with that we turned the corner and stood in the classroom doorway. Just when I thought his eyes couldn't get any bigger, he saw all the chairs turned upside down on the tables, scanned the walls with all the colorful charts, letters and numbers and followed the teacher as she walked him through every nook and cranny of her room. Just before we were leaving she leaned down to touch a table and looked into his face to say, "you will get your own chair....and right here on the table we will put your name so every day that will be your seat...would you like to sit in one of the chairs?" ELI WON THE LOTTERY!!!! I wished I had my camera... words can't illustrate his face and apparent emotions he was feeling. I think from that point on he floated home.
I have thought about Eli's tables and chairs the rest of the day. How it caught me that tables and chairs was what he was most excited about, how those tables and chairs truly held his attention and placed high on his things of importance. But mostly..how simple it was. He didn't have an entire agenda of what he wanted to see and do. He had ONE THING and everything else he just took in as it came. I still don't understand "why the table and chairs", and somehow it's not important why but that they were so important and exciting. I had to wonder; what are my tables and chairs in my life? What are the simplest of things that give me the greatest joy? When is the last time something simple captivated me with appreciation and thrill like Eli had? And what is the ONE THING, what are my tables and chairs that I look forward to on a daily basis? For someone who struggles with making lists about lists of things to do in a single day, Eli reminded me to slow down, don't be so busy, put my focus on the things that matter (not the things of this world) and look daily for the tables and chairs God puts in my life. Thank you Eli! Your first visit to school and YOU taught me something I forgot!
I love you Little Man!
Momma
I realized 20 minutes into the ride that I was meditating on this image and how quickly time goes by, how many moments we take for granted with our children; not on purpose, but because of our busy lives and what we chose to do with our time. And now, today after work, I was going to take Eli to the Elementary School to sign up. Today, I can see back on what God has blessed me with and the amazing experience of Ben's school years as he prepares to graduate soon. AND, today is the first memory of a long journey for Eli that will end all too quickly. Standing here, at the start AND finish line, it's almost euphoric. Conflicting emotions; happy, sad, excited, proud, numb. As I tried to remember Ben's first day other than that picture, mere glimpses were available....and I wondered...will I remember Eli's first day any better?
When I came home, Eli was sitting on the sofa with his shoes in hand and ready to go. Acting as if he was going to school for class, I let him know, "this is just to sign up for now Bud". He confirmed he knew that and we talked a bit about how parents don't stay in school with their kids. He seemed confident, and rather glad he'd be on his own. As we hugged Daddy goodbye Eli said to him, "You can't come with me to school, it's just for kids...but you can come pick me up after school." Rick smiled and told him he'd be there every day to pick him up and with that we were gone.
The entire drive to school, which only consisted of 2 minutes, Eli talked and talked. But as soon as we got to the office he was as quiet as a church mouse...but eyes glowing with excitement. I asked if I could walk him through the halls since the students were dismissed already and they gave us a pass and introduced us to a kindergarten teacher who offered to show us her classroom. As she walked ahead I asked Eli, "what are you most excited about?" His response was simple....and curious. In a voice that sounded as if he could barely contain himself he said, "I can't wait to see the tables and chairs!" And with that we turned the corner and stood in the classroom doorway. Just when I thought his eyes couldn't get any bigger, he saw all the chairs turned upside down on the tables, scanned the walls with all the colorful charts, letters and numbers and followed the teacher as she walked him through every nook and cranny of her room. Just before we were leaving she leaned down to touch a table and looked into his face to say, "you will get your own chair....and right here on the table we will put your name so every day that will be your seat...would you like to sit in one of the chairs?" ELI WON THE LOTTERY!!!! I wished I had my camera... words can't illustrate his face and apparent emotions he was feeling. I think from that point on he floated home.
I have thought about Eli's tables and chairs the rest of the day. How it caught me that tables and chairs was what he was most excited about, how those tables and chairs truly held his attention and placed high on his things of importance. But mostly..how simple it was. He didn't have an entire agenda of what he wanted to see and do. He had ONE THING and everything else he just took in as it came. I still don't understand "why the table and chairs", and somehow it's not important why but that they were so important and exciting. I had to wonder; what are my tables and chairs in my life? What are the simplest of things that give me the greatest joy? When is the last time something simple captivated me with appreciation and thrill like Eli had? And what is the ONE THING, what are my tables and chairs that I look forward to on a daily basis? For someone who struggles with making lists about lists of things to do in a single day, Eli reminded me to slow down, don't be so busy, put my focus on the things that matter (not the things of this world) and look daily for the tables and chairs God puts in my life. Thank you Eli! Your first visit to school and YOU taught me something I forgot!
I love you Little Man!
Momma
Comments
Post a Comment