HOLDING ON WHILE LETTING GO

The twenty two months that have flown by since Eli was born will remain memories of mile stones, only alive archived in my thoughts. As long as God grants me a sound mind, those moments will remain as alive as the day they happened. I will hold precious the vision of a tiny 7 pound baby, ever so tiny, engulfed by a crib mattress which seemed he would never outgrow. The safety of knowing where he was and unable to get out of bed on his own made sleep come easy. But, preparing his new bed in preparation for Miah's homecoming and need for the crib pushed me to thoughts of the future. Thoughts of how he could now wake on his own and come to snuggle in our room, kneeling by his tiny new bed and saying prayers with him and witnessing the pride on his face as he climbs into his "big boy bed". But, as I watched him sleep for the first night in his trundle bed, that moment...that very instant it hit me again how quickly time slips by us...that moment too was fleeting. So often, at the crossroads of baby to toddler, I walk two roads...."what has been and what is to come"...which in turn is what builds the fragile memory of the fleeting moment of "Now". In one glance, whether it is him sleeping, a smile, a gesture, or a new spoken word, I watch someone new develop and someone younger disappear. We are thrilled as Mother's to experience the growth and healthy development that comes with each passing day, yet we hold dear to us the innocence of what was. Does anyone really ever master the art of holding on while letting go? Or would we want to master it? These are the moments that bring me to live in awe of God and the beauty of the gifts he gives us daily as a Mother who can witness first hand the Master's art in who our children were and who they are becoming.